Monday, September 9, 2013

Pre- Leaving the Country Preparations

Originally posted August 18 2003


This is a result of boredom, everyone leaving and my being
 afraid of everything I'll miss this year. 

 Living Will of Karla J. Petty
 
 I, Karla Petty, being of sound mind and body hereby
 bequeath the following items to the enumerated recipients
 upon my departure from the United States of America on
 September 1st, 2003.  This is to be enacted upon that date
 and the items herein to be left to the safekeeping of those
 listed until my return. 
 
 I leave to Lauren A. Feliz cranberry juice + anything
 alcoholic, late night phone calls to tell me anything and
 everything, my inner party girl, the new and improved
 playlist, boy problems, finishing each others sentences, a
 list of boys longer than my arm, forbidden hook ups,
 parties/WTW reunions at your house, and a history beginning
 in the summer of 1997 that waxes perpetually. 

 I leave to Jamie E. Bothwell house parties, getting
 the cops called, wine drinking and Never Have I Ever, 9:30
 Club missions accomplished and failed, J Crew, the end of
 our punk rock concert going years, stellar dates to senior
 prom, kicking high schoolers off the front lawn, Crabtree
 Court, horses, New Years, Girls Only dinner parties, Sex
 and the City, New Found Glory, rides to and from school,
 and Tribe Pride.
 
 I leave to Becca NMI Sellers going to great lengths and
 spending a lot of money for Trivial Pursuit and concerts,
 going deaf by age 30, the infectiousness of world travel,
 dinner parties, Sex and the City, memories of Women’s
 Chorus, all my John Hartman jokes, Warped tour, the big CH
 and mini golfing, Crabtree Court, getting yelled at at
 3:30 am on Sunday mornings by you and your friends, Snoop
 Dogg parties, jumping median strips, foreign films,
 and James Taylor in the rain. 
 
 I leave to Marjorie J. Censer pool running, packages in the
 mail, unbeaten records for visits, a strange affinity for
 Celine Dion, sock puppet shows, French Class, IB nonsense,
 senior prom, Sex and the City, dancing, PJ’s pancake house,
 dinner parties, Learning Packets, rival brothers,
 introduction to the Shuers, many miles of trail, and
 Brooks. 
 
 I leave to Mark A. Golden Trivial Pursuit, foosball, movies
 in the basement, Richmond trips to see obscure bands, New
 Years, the picks, Arrowfest, 80’s rock, admiration of Lance
 Armstrong, Othello, tennis in the sweltering heat, T Mart
 and A Rod, a place to stay for the 10 miler and rides at
 6:30 in the morning, love for the DC Metro (both area and
 system), and senior homecoming.   
 
 I leave to Nicholas G. Reddig parties, Mardi Gras and MTV
 appearances, Brandywine missions, manhunt, wing night, the
 question “what are you doing tonight?”, Lauren’s house,
 Arrowfest, drive-by verbal abuse of Harry Potter
 fans, “throwin’ it out there”, answers to questions
 involving Michael Jackson, cigar smoking, World Civ, and
 chocolate chip cookies à la Petty.
 
 I leave to Brian B. Burgess the Beastie Boys DVD, fear for
 your life in Mexico, plans to hang out in Europe, rides in
 the late great ’91 Golf, New Orleans, IB, Carbo sightings,
 driving on the wrong side of the road, Brandywine missions,
 Lauren’s house, Mitch Hedberg, anything having to do with
 Pirates, being loud and retardedly drunk, donuts in the
 Baptist church parking lot in the snow, senior prom, the
 Humpty Dance, Van Gogh in –2 weather, and DC outings.

 I leave to Michael E. Carluzzo blowing way too much money
 at the Fairfax Fair, the Sandlot, spooooooooon, 10th grade
 gym class, Tom Petty (do you even remember any of that
 show?), selling my mom a knife, senior homecoming, New
 Years at Stu’s and Joel’s, and Steve’s house. 

 I leave to The Bailiwick Inn at least 40 hours of my time
 per week, endless pulling of my hair, Mixology 101, karma
 episodes, 94.7 while setting the dining room for dinner,
 stair climbing, the drunkards… I mean owners, seeing wasted
 40-year-old men in their tighty-whiteys walk downstairs
 with as much dignity as they can muster asking to be let
 back into their room, and two long summers. 

 I leave to Matthew A. Campbell and Brent Banks
 uncoordinated games of NBA Live 2003, gatherings in Brent’s
 basement, car talk, pool parties, barbeque chicken, peas
 and mashed potatoes, drives to Annapolis, and the
 wild side of W&M. 

 I leave to Christopher J. Devlin opposing viewpoints, long
 conversations, ignoring you on IM, the Lamplighter, wasabi,
 and the answer to every computer question I’ve ever asked.

 I leave to Melissa E. Howard a rain check on a New York
 visit, love for Chi-town, Monday night meetings, long
 walks, long talks, photographing Williamsburg, being
 allies, endless library time, only calling you after 9
 because you always use up all your minutes, Sadie Hawkins,
 questionable retreats, church hunting, and my endless need
 for a ride.

 I leave to Amanda E. Gomaa dance parties, the frats, being
 a magnet, maillot, TJ memorial and almost “going platinum”,
 the spy museum, breakfast club, the Caf on Sunday mornings,
 Monday night meetings, scavenger hunts and stealing signs,
 and just causing trouble in general.

 I leave to Rachel M. Vance the classic car show, Frisbee
 golf in Newport News, DMX, breakfast club, Gimme Dat Nut,
 and lunch dates. 

 I leave to the Mushroom House theme parties, girly movies,
 Monday night meetings and appreciation that you all have
 cars. 

 I leave to Chandler 313 (now Ludwell something) Long Run,
 scavenger hunts, Jimmy Eat World, Richmond International
 Motor Speedway, Warped tour, random cell phone messages,
 and King and Queen’s. 

 I leave to Benjamin D. Kimble Signs, surprise parties,
 yelling at you during movies, 80’s night, Sadie Hawkins,
 HOLLA, rec center, thanksgiving dinner, yelling from across
 the caf, Fuddruckers nights, charades, Pierce’s, El Faro,
 Myrtle Beach and Lost Treasure golf.

 I leave to Daniel A. Belen rides to and from school,
 Jammin’ Java, a lot of car talk, music talk, Ben Folds,
 Matrix obsessions, random meetings in Austria, Thanksgiving
 dinner, Mandy Moore valentines, late nights in the Fauquier
 lounge and Gooch hallway, and the coolest CD carrier known
 to man. 

 I leave to Nathaniel E. Loehrke drawstring pants. 

 I leave to Emily J. Gustin my CD collection, my concert
 ticket collection, all the creativity it takes to make
 Williamsburg interesting, birthday parties, Craisins,
 soccer games in the rain, Counting Crows, Pierce’s, and the
 fabulous Gustin get-togethers in Winchester.

 I leave to Rebecca A. DelBalzo my sanity, random
 comments, “hey do you remember this song?”, foreign pop
 rock, movie quotes, Blind Date, boyfriends, oh OH the
 damage is done, managing freshman girls (what’s that
 smell…), staying in the car, the caf, going out, coming
 home, BTE, and most of the good times I’ve had at W&M.

 I leave to Matthew J. Morgan the Chapel, being a rock star,
 concerts, Nate’s revenge, Fuddrucker’s and movies, grilling
 at your apartment, Swingers, new bands, away messages, El
 Faro, acoustic nights at the Norva, and FCA. 

 I leave to Luke, Francis, Ryan and Will rockin’ home made
 music videos, Sno-to-Go, King and Queen and tag team
 dating, and Taboo. 

 I leave to Benjamin J. Petty fun times in Chicago, living
 in the Ghetto, Comiskey Park, my love for U2, the A.I.C.,
 Mediterranean cuisine, pursuing a dream, the study,
 valentines, and glue to hold the family together.

 I leave to J. Clinton Petty (a.k.a. NO1GUY) none of the
 cars because if I did you would wreck them, being gangsta,
 cell phone messages from concerts, the 8 hour (6 if it’s
 us) drive to Sunset, rebellion, earth shakin’ bass riffs,
 my keen knowledge of how to dress you to kill, caution to
 not break too many hearts, and a coupon for hanging out
 with your sister in Europe renewable in Spring 2004.

 I leave to Reveille a promise to arrange something while
 I’m gone, apologies that I won’t be there to sing all those
 ridiculously low bass lines, regrets about all the fun
 things I will miss, and best wishes for the coming year. 

 I leave to Everyone a demand that you all write to me and
 keep me posted on your lives, an open invitation to come
 visit in Europe (flights are cheap, no excuses), and joy
 that I will see you all upon my return.

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